BurgerClub

Yo, Brooklyn!

Finally made it out to this well reviewed spot in Carroll Gardens/Red Hook... it takes a while to get to these parts. The area is part industry, part urban suburb baby stroller and mom out for lunch.

From the beginning I have always been curious about this place due to its name and devotion to hotdogs and hamburgers... after looking into it further, I noticed many food blogs and webzines raving about the great Schnack... some even went to say it was amongst the best!?

Well, it's not the best, I'm convinced that no LA style burger can be found in NY... at least not as good as those found on the left. Not that this is trying to be the next My Fathers Grocery, or In 'N Out. I just can't help compare every burger not at least 1/4 lb., pink and juicy to a "fast" food style burger.

It is a fairly good burger however, and warrants a visit if you are not too far away. To start, the meat is freshly ground and not frozen... always good. the fries were great, and you can't beat the price... 99c for a single (tiny) up-to $5.50 for a Quint (5 patties on a 5" bun)... and the beer (PBR) is $1 all day Weds! I had a Triple Combo (3 patties on 4" bun, fries, and a soda) for $7... my partner in crime went with the Quint with Am cheese. My burger was a bit dry, i mean come on, the darn things are so small how much juice can it hold, but had a nice crunch to it's exterior. The Schnack Sauce is a mayo n mustard based thing that is alright... not overwhelming... but I still like a bit of catchup. I felt like another when I was done, perhaps that's the snack part... next time i will try either the Quint, or go for 4 or 5 Singles. I made the mistake of not ordering any cheese, which would have helped bring it all together I think. You can also get a handful of toppings, which perhaps I will get in a variety of Singles next time.

Thanks Scnhack for being there... If I get 8 people and a car, expect to see me back for your all you can eat and drink for $20... till then, I think I need another Luger burger.

High concept burgermaking at it's best. Love the idea of being able to order a single, double, triple, quad, or a quint. Good and greasy. A blast to eat with one of their 'Beer Milkshakes'.

Schnack is known for it's eccentric burger sizing (small white castle sized burgers with one or two patties) or larger buns with 3 or 4 patties. The meat is fresh ground and the multiple patties make for a good char to well cooked meat ratio (many NY burger joints would use the same amount of meat on a single patty leaving it somewhat rare inside). This is perfect for those of us who prefer well done meat. I generally order the triple which reminds me in size and taste of less spiced Shake Shack burger (very similar texture minus the hint of pepper). The bun on the triple is the weakest part of the burger... it's just ok. The single and doubles have tastier grainer buns. This said the bun was a minor concern and I was pretty happy. Especially when combined with a beer (Schnack has good larger selection) tastiness awaits.

My recent pilgrimage to Schnack was both hot and cold. Hot, aside from my body temperature after walking 20 minutes from the subway, was the kitchy decor and casual atmosphere, cheap prices, Schnack sauce, whole wheat buns, and the delicious fries. Cold was the dry room temp patty and dispicable service. The service was so bad the couple next to us left after consuming their drinks and waiting 20+ minutes for their food while the two tables next to them was served even though they arrived well after them. The women to the left of us recieved our basket of fries and choose to eat them when she hadn't even ordered them, and i had to ask our waiter for water 3 times before recieving it. I could go on but lets get to the burger.

I was a little confused by the burger options here i must admit, and with our clueless spaced out waiter, i was hesitant to confuse him with questions so i opted for the a couple single schnakie's. One was a classic style with lettuce tomato and chedder, the second was meant to be mozzarella and spicy onion, but they forgot the spicy onion. I later realized after waiting half and hour for our food, that the triple quad or quint are served on a standard sized white bun rather than the mini whole wheat version used on the single and double. Would have been nice to split one of those for a variation, but the mini's were pretty darn good. The fresh pattys are seasoned and pounded into a flat piece of meat. The come out dry and a little crispy but still tasty. The cheese helps with the lack of moisture as does the exellent Schnack sauce. Unlike your standard thousand island secret sauce found at most burger spots, this is a sharp mustard based sauce, it complemented the whole wheat buns wonderfully. Once discovering the home made chilli sauce on the table, my Schnakie was elevated to another level of satisfaction. Its a vinegar based chilli oil that gives an extra element of moisture and flavor to the Schnack experience.

Scnack is also known for their hot dogs so McKaki and I decided to try one with sourkraut. Nothing special about the Schnack Dog. Basic fare. In the end i was satisfied with my food. It wasn't a mind blowing burger, but I enjoyed Schnack's unique aproach to burger making. If i lived closer i would certainly visit more often for maybe our waiter was just a dud? Either way, it's a fun concept restaurant with a tasty burger. Unfortunitely the large basket of fries were so good I had no room left for the beer shake.

Ok, so I second everything my burger cohort Dr. Sannwich wrote in the review above me, but while he did not linger on the service, I am going to drag it out a bit longer, just as I feel Schnack did to me.

So on a nice, sunny weekend afternoon, we set out for Schnack ready to gorge. I did my usual skip breakfast so I can go big on the burger lunch thing, and that was a really bad idea. I called ahead of time to get subway directions since I am not so good at the Brooklyn thing and was told the closest subway stop was 5 blocks away. From this moment on, I was guaranteed to have bad service from this establishment.

Upon getting out from the subway in Brooklyn and orienting ourselves in the direction we were supposed to go, we started out for our "5" block walk. Why did I put 5 in quotation marks you ask? Cuz apparently who knew, 5 is a relative number. I was assuming we were using a standard base 10 counting system. Silly me, It was more like 12. What was wrong with the guy on the phone that he was SO wrong? Anyway, I was over it, it was a nice day and I needed a walk, but by now, I was really hungry.

We were seated pretty quickly, but that was about the only thing that was quick. The place was really cute, quaint, good decor, seemed mellow. I was psyched. I am always down for some sliders. We settled on our order pretty quickly opting for fries, some coleslaw, a hot dog, and a some singles (sliders).
Waiting.
Waiting.
Waiting.
tick tock.
"where the hell is our waiter?".
Waiting.
Get my point?

Dude finally came after I flailed my arms at him. We straight off asked for water and beer as we were parched from our mile hike from the subway, and then proceeded to order.

Waiting.
Waiting.
Waiting.
Still no water.
Still no fries which are clearly indicated on the menu as arriving BEFORE all the rest of your food. still waiting and now totally annoyed as it began to hit me that one waiter is furiously running around taking care of 90% of the tables while our waiter only has us and the table next to us and he hasn't shown his face in ages. It took me a while for some reason to figure it out, but he was clearly so "enlightened" that he just could not function at work. After what seemed like a millenium, he came back finally, completely stoned again, and scratching his head. "Um, I wrote your order down, but I confused myself and now I dont really get what I wrote. What did you order again?" I slightly lose it at this point and blurt out some rude nonsense about where the hell are our fries and am gently quieted by my much more calm at the time dining companion who proceeds to go over the whole order again.

He leaves and we exchange frustrated looks with our co-commiserating table indicative of "Can you believe this guy?". sigh. Wait some more.
Still no water.
Beer finally comes so I breathe a bit easier.

Finally, after eternity passes, our burgers and hot dog come. Yes, I said burgers and hot dog. No water, no coleslaw, and no fries. Hot dog, nothing great, 'nuff said. Burger, good but nothing amazing, too dry if you get it with no cheese, whole wheat bun was a total plus for me, good special sauce. Just when I am completely itching for fries, I notice the woman (who sat down way after us and got food way before us due to getting the functional waiter) gets her plate of sliders with fries, despite the fact that she already had a basket of fries. Clearly she got ours, no one noticed we still had no fries, we finally manage to call over the good waiter and alert him to the fry travesty which he proceeds to remedy. The co-commiserating table next to us at this point still has no food, and managed to get one glass of beer somehow (before us FYI) and they finally get so annoyed, they just walk out without paying or saying anything. The beauty of this situation is that our genius waiter still didnt even notice. Classic. Seeing as how we were fully done with our meal and still no coleslaw, we decide to cancel it with the good waiter who tells us "Are you sure? it will take two seconds to get it" obviusly indicating to me all one had to do was spoon it out of a canister in the fridge in the kitchen into a bowl so what the hell was the problem with our waiter that he couldnt do that in the first place, but we have already been in this place way llonger than I could deal with, and now stuffed and needing to walk the mile back to the subway, we opted out. Let's just say thank god the food was ok and pretty cheap because otherwise, food with service this bad is usually free.

The lesson learned here kiddies is, a mind is terrible thing to waste, especially when it involves me getting my damn burger!