BurgerClub

well, how was it?

Well, folks, did you ever have a great memory of a burger, or any other dish, only to find out later that it's way under your expectations....this is decrystallization I guess. This is the Coffee Shop burger. This might be a great burger to sponge up your aching stomach after too many early jacks on the rocks, but this is by no means a burger which could be hailed as chief representant of the burger universe.
For the positive side, i found that the width of this burger was right. That means it's wide, bun fits the patty size, and tha leaves enough room to accomodate salad, tomatoes, onions (yak!) without creating a ball-shaped burger. But that's about what's good about it.
Meat obviously came from the freezer, with its spongy neutral un-chewy and mostly untasty feeling. Cheese was undercooked and never really melted on the patty. No juice at the end, an extremely dry burger. Bun was slightly toasted, but there again, too quick, with no proper care.
The last point i should mention is the fries. Aside from the burger, those ones rock and have the best seasoning you'll ever find around, in my opinion. A blend of rosemay and thyme, lightly sprinkled over those fries, makes this pure heaven. But again, that can't make it for the insipid sandwich lying next to it.
My conclusion is that the coffee shop burger is to the burger what a ford explorer is to a car: looks great and bulky on the outside, you could be easily fooled, but quality and structure are non-existent, it's cheap at the end. Should i mention a price tag flirting with two digits... It's a C+ burger.

Let me begin by saying that this burger (veggie) was crap. I can get a better veggie burger in a tin tray at the deli by my office. That being said, let me elaborate and tell you why:

Bun: Can you say 'preservatives'? I knew you could. It was hard to determin if they had actually attempted to 'lightly toast' it and instead just dryed it out, or if it was just stale. I lean towards the latter. However, it was the kind of wonderbun that is so chock full of preservatives that it could have been a week old and nobody would be the wiser. At least I know that if there is ever a war or natural disaster that leaves me as one of the few survivors on this island looking for food, I can raid the rubble of Coffee Shop and find well-preserved food.

Which leads me to...

The Patty: Um, hi, can we please cut to the kitchen-cam that shows them taking this wholesale garden burger out of the freezer, removing the plastic wrapping, warming it and then serving it to me? Thanks guys. For future reference, I have my own microwave at home.

Where I would....

SAUTE THE ONIONS, PLEASE. Raise your hand if you want one thick, gigantic slice of onion on top of your crappy burger.
Notice my hand is not raised. I like them sauted or at least THINLY sliced, thank you very much.

Thank god for condiments. The most interesting part of this burger was the mustard. Well, that and the guacamole that I ended up adding as well. Don't get me wrong, I always love guac on my burger, but usually it is to enhance the flavor - not to cover it up. Actually, more like invent it, since there was no flavor to cover up in the first place.

I give this burger a C-. I would have considered an even worse grade if the fries weren't of a superior quality.

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VegMaster2000
Primary Benificiary, P.E.T.E.

thanks BurgerFans for taking this place on with out parental supervision. I guess I'm happy my BurgerPalate wasn't tainted by this beast... I'm surprised this burger did as well in the polls as it did judging from the reviews... don't be afraid to give it the F if you have to.

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lets eat!

well seeko burger, i still think that there are plenty of burgers out there who sill can't match the Coffee Shop, hence the C-range marks. F is good for the Weight Watchers microwable burger...

So I"m giving this sucka a C- as well. I ask for medium rare and got a burger that looked grayer than the air in Ashland, PA (coal mining town reference). The bun, while hearty in size, was not even toasted and dry as the Saharan sand. The side of guac didn't even save it. I only ate half the burger and consoled myself by dipping the fabulous fries into the milkshake VegMaster and I shared. :::::SIGH:::::

And with this I must protest the scheduling of RARE during the busiest week of the season, that being fashion week. Alas I cannot attend but will be drooling in spirit. HO hum.

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CarnivorousFantasticus